By Naomi Rose

Naomi Rose is a professional writer and a Book Developer in private practice.

The wish to write a book is usually very close to a person's heart. Even if the surface reason for authoring your own book is to boost your career, beneath that is also the desire---a most universal desire---to speak from your truest being, to be fully received, and to make a difference for your readers.

But although this desire is the essential ingredient for bringing forth a book, it's a rare experience for it to flower unobstructed. More often, because it is so close to the heart's core, there are layers of clouds over this vibrant, persistent source of light. And although each person's cloudbank is unique in its history and makeup, I have come to realize that these clouds, too---of doubt, shame, fear, confusion, lack of experience in being deeply listened to regarding one's writing dreams, and of listening to oneself with compassion---are universal, and that those writers who see the book-writing process as a journey rather than as the producing of a product end up with the book of their dreams and a transformed relationship to themselves, as a writer and as a human being.

In the four quarters since my listing as a Book Developer ("Writing from the Deeper Self") has appeared in OPEN EXCHANGE, I have been privileged to receive quite a number of responses from people wishing to write the book of their heart. Some of these responses ended with the first phone call; some materialized as a couple of sessions; and then some grew into committed clients who felt heard and treasured enough to trust me with their precious heart's desire, and who stayed for the entire journey.

Many clients have passed through my doors because of my OPEN EXCHANGE listing. But for brevity's sake, I will mention only two of them (with their permission)---two who are what I like to call "poster children for Writing from the Deeper Self": attuned to the process of the journey, and persisting in bringing forth writings of deep and helpful beauty.

Doreen Hamilton, PhD, facilitates Speaking Circles (also advertised in OPEN EXCHANGE), a deep approach to the usually high anxiety of public speaking that teaches people to be present and listen rather than feel on the spot and perform. As Doreen, a vivacious yet exquisitely reflective woman who is a therapist, began to "unpack" her fears about writing, despite the fact that she came into the process with a large accordion folder of notes and chapter ideas and some compellingly beautiful vignettes she'd already written, it became clear that her process of writing was not yet her own. While she was utterly at ease with expressing herself intimately in public speaking, there were writing traumas in her background that confounded her desires, created self-doubts, and made a potential work of joy into something painful.

Because Doreen was already so gifted at being present to whatever arose, she was able and willing to unearth the sources of her negative associations. They included writing and defending her PhD thesis to a very critical committee of judges---a painful experience that had become the externalization of the "inner critic" who pops up at inopportune moments for just about every writer---and the sense that writing a book would be more of the same. Another negative association was a teacher in high school who had simply ignored a particularly heartfelt paper that Doreen had written, causing the young girl to believe that her own deep being would not be received.

Just about everyone has some variant of this experience of showing your best and having it be ignored or abused in some way, and then making the decision that "there's no place for me as I really am." What I found extraordinary about Doreen was her utter willingness to be present from the inside out with the clouds that arose, and her determination to find her own light and way. At last, after months of deep exploration and sketching out possible ways to write her book, she announced, "I feel sad that it took me this long to be ready to start writing my book, but I do feel ready." And with that, she was off like a rocket, seeing the structure of her chapter with clarity and excitement, and shaping the material with full engagement. I felt enormously grateful to be able to learn what her book-in-progress was teaching, and to have helped her on her way.

Prema Nihhan Sanchez knew who I was before she saw my ad, as I had already worked with her husband, Steve Sanchez (author of the recently published book, Spiritual Perversion). But it was only when she saw my listing in OPEN EXCHANGE that she thought for the first time, "I could work with her to write a book, too!"

Prema had a story to tell of a lifetime's spiritual journey. She had a new baby, her first, and this evoked the desire to tell her daughter in writing what her real legacy was. "I've kept journals since I was a child," Prema told me over the phone. "When I was 20 I threw out a huge garbage bag of' journals. I wish I'd kept them. But I still have all the journals since age 20, and I'd like to find a way to tell my story."

I was fortunate. Prema came with her baby, River, who slept and nursed and fussed very little as her mother spoke of the long journeys of her life to find healing, meaning, and larger mythic strands. As she spoke, I felt myself to be in the presence of a truly mystical thinker; and when she read me some of her old papers from school ("Most of my writing is journals or academic papers," she explained, "but I'd like you to hear my writing, and I'd like to hear it again too"), I entered into a realm of consciousness that wove together ideas and personal experiences in a way that both sang out the pain and gave a far more meaningful context than the usual fact-laden history. Grateful for her offerings and presence, I simply expressed my awareness of the beauty, brilliance, and universality of her writing. And this, it turned out, was a large part of the needed encouragement. "I haven't had a mirror," she said simply. I was so glad to be able to be one.

What Prema's book will be is still coming clear---whether it will use the structure of a pilgrimage to tell her life story, or include stories and commentary to elevate the experiences to a more transpersonal understanding of the meaning of a life's struggles, joys, and quests. All I know is that this desire to make of one's life a whole cloth from the many disparate strands is a holy effort, a deep-heart's prayer, and a legacy to one's descendants worth keeping. Readers, too, get to have this legacy and weave it into their own. That's what writing from the deeper Self can do for the human family. And that's why I'm so grateful for these and other clients who have made their way to my door through my listing in this magazine.