5 Steps to Keeping Your Marital Friendship Strong

By Bethany Miller

Friendship is the foundation for all happy marriages. Couples who are good friends laugh often, enjoy one another's company and feel comfortable and safe around each another. A positive connection to one's partner makes it easier to cope with the conflict and stress that occurs in every marriage. Couples who don't have a strong friendship, may fall more easily into negative cycles of blame, disrespect and withdrawal from their partners. Make the choice to keep your friendship strong, before there are problems in the marriage.

1.) Make sure you really know your partner. Marriage expert John Gottman calls this making a "love map."

• Who are the important people in your partner's life?
• What are his/her stressors?
• What are his/her dreams?
• What are his/her favorite things?

2.) Make a regular effort to keep up-to-date with your partner's life. Take time to come together at the end of the day to catch up with one another. Talk with each other about the things you enjoyed during the day and the things that caused you stress.

3.) Foster respect and admiration for your partner. Think about all the things you love or value about your partner. Tell these things often to one another. Try to overlook small things that annoy you.

4.) Think about at least one positive thing about your partner every day.

5.) Make your relationship a priority. Take time every day to talk about your day together, have regular date nights, go on weekend getaways, and do fun things together.