Why Can't I Change? And How You Can...

By Barbara Lynn Allen

The healing dimensions of liquid light fall everywhere, but only the empty cup can receive the nectar.
–Sufi saying

Jennifer was devastated when her long-term relationship ended. She thought about all the reasons it must be her fault. When her previous relationship ended she had experienced the same thoughts, but forget about them when her next relationship began.

Jim couldn't understand why he didn't get the promotion he expected. He had worked hard for it. But another employee, who hadn't even been there as long, got the plum job. Jim wondered why such unfair things kept happening to him.

Thomas was a very accomplished, intelligent professional. In spite of his high level of achievement, when things didn't go his way, he would explode with frustration and anger. This had a devastating effect on his marriage and family life.

These people demonstrate a certain cognitive style, or a schema. They see the world and their relationship to it in a certain, set way. No matter what happens, it's always about the same things: Life isn't fair, it must be my fault, other people are to blame, etc. And their behavioral responses tend to be the same as well: isolation, anger, brooding, anxiety or depression.

Perhaps you've had the experience of trying to change some pattern in your life: recognizing that a pattern is there, but being unable to make the changes you desire.

The reason you can't change may lie beneath your conscious thought patterns, perceptions, emotions and cognitions at a deeper level of your psyche. This level can be thought of as your character structure. Like strong girders holding a building in place, your character structures determine how you will respond to life situations, how you will perceive other people, and to some extent what will happen in your life. If you always respond and perceive in the same set way, the outcomes will likely always be the same and even take on a pattern-like similarity that can seem baffling to you.

Your core issues may be hidden from your awareness, but they manifest directly and clearly in the areas of life where you feel stuck, dissatisfied, overwhelmed or unhappy. You may be experiencing anxiety, relationship problems, depression, excessive fears, phobias, overeating, compulsions and so on. These symptoms represent the places where all this "stuckness" has lodged.

By working directly on the structures that have been damaged or rigidified, I've helped people become more flexible, resilient and strong. Then they finally are strong enough to accomplish their hearts' desires, in relationships, in work, career, in creative endeavors and in life in general.

By using a synthesis of several modern alternative therapy methods designed specifically for you, we work gently, powerfully and directly with your energy field, your nervous system and your unconscious mind simultaneously. I've used these leading edge methods successfully to offer new hope to hundreds of people who felt stuck. With these new, rapid methods, we directly address and transform the structures in your deep psyche that are holding unsatisfying patterns in place. Now you can finally become the person you truly want to be, and live the life you truly want to live. It only requires the motivation to change and a willingness to participate in a new style of therapy.

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