Buddha Nature in Relationship

By Isa Gucciardi & Laura Chandler

In Buddhism, the aspect of the universal source that can be experienced at the personal level is called Buddha Nature. Buddha Nature is inherent in all of us. It is the stillness behind the patterns of relating. It is the consistency that is behind the changing aspects of the way we engage in the world. Many of the issues we experience in relationship point to the ways we have twisted away from our Buddha Nature. If we listen to what our relationship difficulties are telling us about how we are out of alignment with our Buddha nature, these difficulties take on new meanings and point us towards deeper relationships to ourselves and those we love.

The Mind Only School of Buddhism suggests that our material reality is a function of our minds. From this perspective, the idea that we project our perceptions onto those we are in relationship with takes on new meaning. Certainly, it is easy to see how projection operates. Our culture is rife with the negative consequences of such projection, with prejudice and intolerance being just two examples. And on the individual level, we have all made mistakes in judgment regarding a person's character or personality based on assumptions we made about that person without really knowing them. Some of these assumptions may also be viewed as projections, and they offer us an opportunity to observe our internal state and gain insight into what causes us to make these assumptions.

All relationships offer us the opportunity to see ourselves better through the projections we put onto the relationship. Often times relationship issues are just the clashing of these projections in the arena provided by the relationship. As the participants in the relationship realize this, and are better able to distinguish their part in the problems created by projection, the better the relationship becomes, and the more opportunity each person has for addressing personal issues that are manifesting through the projection. It is no longer simply a "He said, she said," or "My boss is a jerk." We are no longer victims of circumstance without choices in our relationships, or in our lives. We begin to see the way we actively participate in our circumstances, and the issues in our relationships provide insight into the ways that we have twisted away from ourselves.

Through our relationships with others, we are able to see more clearly the dynamics of the relationship we have to ourselves. Ultimately, this points to an even larger relationship, the one we have to our own sources of love, power, and life energy. In this way, interpersonal relationship dynamics actually reveal our relationship to universal source. As we uncover the assumptions governing our thoughts and actions, we are better able to align ourselves with our Buddha Nature. From this perspective, we are able to become more conscious of our true nature, and we are able to appreciate the relationships in our lives.

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