How To Get the Most from a Singles Mixer

By Phil Seyer

Arrive Early. Many people like to arrive fashionably late and check out the crowd before entering to see if the party is something they might enjoy. The problem with this approach is that most people are already engaged in conversations with others and have already made a connection. The best approach is to arrive early, pay your money and take your chances. It's a little scary that way because few people arrive on time and you can't disappear into a huge crowd. But the advantage is that you have a better chance of getting to know people and make friends when you come early. You can also enjoy the party snacks and check out the people as they come in. Coming late and trying to poke your head into the banquet room without registering first is poor form.

Cheer up. If you are in a bad mood, it's probably best that you don't go. You won't be likely to make friends if you sit in a corner with a frown on your face and your arms folded across your chest.

Don't sit. Don't sit down and wait for others to come to you; that's so 20th century. Be active, walk around the room. Check everyone out. Be friendly.

Come alone or with friends. These days, it's perfectly fine to come alone whether you are male or female. You have more freedom that way. You can decide for yourself when to leave. If you come with a friend, don't spend all your time chatting or sitting or standing together. Split up, or introduce your friend to someone else. You can always arrange to meet back with your friend at a certain time.

Mixer game. Participate in the any mixer game. It will make it easier for you to talk to and meet new people. And who knows, you might win a prize. The mixer games are fun, non-threatening and educational.

Phone Number. Get a special phone number to give out to potential dating partners. Professionals Guild members get access to a special free phone number for this purpose. If it turns out that a potential partner is not right for you, you can easily block his or her number or make the phone "busy." Your regular phone numbers will remain private.

Dance. If you don't know how to dance or are too shy, take some lessons. It's not unusual, if you are newly single, to be shy about dancing. A few dance lessons can fix that problem quickly and you will have a lot more fun.

Asking someone to dance is a great way to check out a possible connection. The exercise will help you feel more relaxed. Ideally, it's best to strike up a conversation before asking someone to dance. But another approach is to ask with your eyes rather than verbally. Catch the person's eye, smile and glance toward the dance floor with a very slight nod. If you don't get a response, move on. If you want to approach someone more directly, it's nice to smile and say, "I would like to dance with you!" and reach out for their hand. If someone asks you to dance, just do it. It is very poor form to decline a dance with someone and then accept a dance with someone else. Remember, you are not in a singles bar, but a private party where everyone is expected to be warm and friendly.

Check out the vendors. Parties and mixers for singles often have vendors or speakers. Check out what they have to offer. For example, if a free 10 minute massage is being offered, don't be shy, go for it. It will help you relax and enjoy the party.

Join. Join the group. Jump in with both feet; don't stay on the sidelines... Considering volunteering to be a greeter. You'll meet more people that way. If you join, you can enjoy benefits like reduced prices, special phone numbers, and information about singles activities not made available to the general public.

Scoring. Don't come to a party with the goal of scoring or getting laid. Instead come with the goal of having a good time. Put yourself out there; get out of the house. Take small steps toward your dream and your dream will start moving toward you.

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