Dream-Nurturing for Twenty-Somethings...

By Joan Hitlin

When 22 year old Jacinta first entered my office it was as if I had opened the door and a flame flew in: blazing red hair (she'd dyed it red over natural blonde, which makes the red pop), emerald green eyes, and an attitude that was 2 parts fire and one part ice.

Jacinta had been to a few therapists in her lifetime - and she'd hated each of them. They didn't seem to relate to her main concerns. They were bothered by things which didn't really bother her. They seemed to be doing the bidding of her parents. They just didn't seem to "get" her.

A counselor she had recently visited had responded to her heartfelt story with "Well, it's just your age. When you're thirty, it won't bother you anymore." Jacinta and I both burst out laughing: "And how is that supposed to help me now?" she asked me, with her eyes rolling.

Being in your late teens, your twenties, and even your early thirties is not an easy job. Everything is changing really fast.

Friends that you've had for years move away to college and then spread out around the country. People you were really close to seem to change dramatically when they get into relationships or new jobs. Unless you've always wanted to be a ballerina or an astronaut - or whatever - deciding which career to pursue can be really daunting. Making a choice and coming to realize that it was the wrong one can seem like a failure. (Trust me, it isn't!) And I haven't even gotten started on the subject of relationships. Aaaargh!

I love working with the chaos, confusion and open-endedness expressed by my twenty-something clients. The fact that you're just starting out in life means that almost anything really is a possibility. It's my job to help you take this wild assortment of mismatched colors and turn it into a beautiful life-painting.

One of my twenty-somethings started a green business.

Another, after becoming Ms. San Francisco and graduating from college became a web-writer. A third finally found the strength to stop bugging her boyfriend to propose (the cure for bugging involved a story about a tulip) and then, voila, he proposed.

As for Jacinta, she's doing great! After a series of twists, turns and detours, she ended a really difficult, mind-draining relationship, she decided what career really lights her up, and she is back in school ardently pursuing her dream.

I'm so grateful to have been able to be her dream-nurturer.

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