Barbara Lynn Allen, MS, MBA, CCHT, is an accomplished hypnotherapist and energy healer and a seasoned relationship expert. She is dedicated to helping men and women solve their relationship problems and find lasting happiness and connection. See her listing in Hypnotherapy.

Richard is 40 years old. He has a great job. He's attractive, educated, and intelligent. "So why can't I establish and keep a relationship?" he asked me. He had formed several potentially good relationships, but his fears, emotional wounding, and unconscious triggers were too powerful to tolerate. After each relationship ended Richard was lonely and sad.

When he was triggered by a girlfriends' sometimes innocent remarks or actions, he became lost in his emotional reactions. He didn't realize that his upset feelings were not about the present at all, but about the painful experiences of his past.

Richard had found it impossible to create safety in his alcoholic family. He experienced failure and a sense of not being good enough over and over again. A current comment could whisk him back into his painful past, like a flashback in a movie, where he was unconscious of what was happening.

"I'm not sure I can ever really heal or change, this has been a pattern of mine for so long," he said. I hear this from clients all the time, but having worked with so many people like Richard, I knew that with the right kind of help, he could change and heal.Another client, Sharon, 43, told me, "I've never had a decent relationship in my life."

Like Richard, Sharon was living in her past. She had a successful career and some good friends, but in every relationship, she was repeating patterns of abuse and neglect experienced with her father. She believed that men would always mistreat her.

Richard and I worked together to remove his upsetting feelings. He was cooperative, even though at times he felt skeptical; but soon he felt more hopeful. He was no longer being triggered because his painful feelings were permanently released. His negative beliefs about relationships changed. We replaced them with more realistic ones. Soon he met a woman who he felt understood him. And now, he no longer experienced the overwhelming need to run away. Instead of fear and dread, he felt excitement and hopefulness. They decided to move in together. And now they're married.

In Sharon's family, it could be dangerous to be yourself, because Dad might explode. She kept her feelings and thoughts to herself and smiled a lot. Inside, she was angry, lonely, afraid, like Richard. Painful childhood feelings resurfaced in her adult relationships. Each unsatisfying experience evoked the helpless frustration of her childhood.

Sharon wasn't as skeptical about therapy as Richard. She just wanted help and was open to working with new advanced methods. We worked more rapidly because she was less afraid of changing.

I carefully designed a powerful combination of hypnotherapy and energy therapy for her. As the work progressed, her suffering and isolation diminished. She started dating again.

Everyone responded positively to her increased self-esteem. Even her boss treated her more respectfully. She felt happier, more fulfilled. The constant smile left her face, replaced by real emotions and the ability to set limits. Her anger, anxiety and depression disappeared. She's now in an ongoing relationship with a caring, available man.

You, too, can live your life in the present and become free of negative emotions and limiting beliefs from your past. All you need is a willingness to cooperate and to experience new, breakthrough healing methods synthesized from the most powerful tools available today. If your relationships are unfulfilling, now is the time to take that first step to change. You too, can have the relationship you really want, by finally looking for love in all the RIGHT places.