Francesca Gentillé is on staff at Celebrations of Love, longtime OPEN EXCHANGE lister, working with issues of intimacy and sexuality.

It's been a long day. Work has been fast, traffic slow. Mike and Cheryl are making their way home in separate cars. Both are tired, hungry and somewhat irritable. The kids are staying at Aunt Sally's tonight so they don't have that to think about. It's supposed to be their "Date Nite." They doubt it will happen. They feel they are too tired and they know the house is a mess.

They each feel overworked and under-appreciated.

Several nights ago, on the Late Night Talk Show, a guest had been interviewed about Sacred Love, Tantra and Sacred Sexuality. About half way through the show they fell asleep. This morning they laughed about it.

Cheryl said, "Anytime for sex seems like a dream, let alone time for whatever this exotic sacred stuff is."

What is Sacred Loving? Is it just for celebrities, or spiritual seekers?

What about the average couple working to pay bills, and/or raise kids? Does it require leaving the Church? Does it take a lot of time?

Ten years ago, when my second marriage ended in a binge of name calling and blaming, I committed to finding a better way to love. Today I can say that Sacred Love is our birthright. It is as natural as breathing or sleeping. It doesn't belong to any religion. Like losing weight, gaining muscle, or learning a new language it does take some time and practice. Even 15 minutes a day can make a huge difference towards having a love-life we love.

If you're between relationships or just starting one, it's the perfect time to study Sacred Loving skills that can last a lifetime. If you're in a long-term relationship now is the time to continue learning skills to deepen pleasure, expand communication and increase joyful intimacy. Or it may be the time to compassionately complete a relationship journey.

Ending a relationship is not necessarily bad. A wise woman, the mother of my second husband, once told me, "Not all relationships are meant to last a lifetime. Some complete in a weekend. Some last years. The success of a relationship is in what we learn together. Not in how long it lasts."

Based on the word SACRED there are 5 Keys to Sacred Loving:

Special Soul
Appreciative Acceptance
Courageous Communication
Reverence & Respect
Eternal Education
Delighted Devotion

When I ask the people I teach, all across the country, they say Sacred means: Set apart. Special. Spiritual. Holy.

Holy comes from the same root word as health, and wholeness. To be holy is to be integrated and whole. So Sacred (Holy) Loving is to care for ourselves and each other; inside and out, darkness and light, with boundaries (no's) and with hopes (yes's), emotionally and sexually. Sacred Loving is founded on passionate and compassionate connection. It is communicative and personally responsible. No victims dwell in its beauty. Pain is inevitable. Suffering optional.

Mike has brought home some delicious precooked food. Cheryl has tossed the kids' toys into waiting wicker baskets, lit candles throughout the house and put on their favorite music. Mike comes into to a beautiful home and feels the day's tension begin to drain away. While Mike heats the food and puts it on their "good" plates, Cheryl changes into her favorite color, runs a brush through her hair and feels a sense of excitement. The meet in the doorway to the kitchen, take a deep relaxing breath, look into one another's eyes and smile. They let doubts and worry's fade away. Tonight will be a good night. Tonight will be the beginning of a regular practice of Sacred Loving.