Why Call A Philosopher? What Can She Do For You?
by Markate Daly

Markate Daly, PhD, longtime OPEN EXCHANGE lister, offers philosophical counseling. Inquire about a free 15 minute telephone consultation or a free talk to your group.

Philosophers famously deal with the ultimate questions of life: love, death, truth, goodness, boredom, and the meaning of it all. But no one asks me questions about those topics.

People come for help in thinking about the intimate details of their lives. Life is always lived in the details. It is here that fears arise, that love or desire is felt, that dissatisfaction is first noticed, or there is a vague perception that something seems wrong. The next step we take is an interpretation of those feelings - usually a diagnosis of a problem.

Then the problem takes the form of a story, because that is how we humans interpret our lives. Some typical story lines are; "I am only attracted to abusive men"; "I feel trapped in my marriage"; "Everyone takes advantage of me"; "I can't make myself do anything"; "I need my job although I hate it"; " I do things I don't approve of"; "Resentment of my mother tortures me"; "I suspect that I self-sabotage"; "I can't commit in any meaningful way".

Sometimes these story lines are accurate enough to guide an appropriate change that will make life better. But, sometimes every attempt to solve a personal problem based on your story line leads you in circles. Then it is time to try new ways of thinking about it. That is what philosophers specialize in.

A philosopher spends about 8 years learning how to reason under conditions of uncertainty - with concepts that are inherently fuzzy, ambiguous, or abstract. Nearly all of the language that we us to describe life experience, our desires, or our fears has this vagueness. As a philosopher, I question all interpretations for accuracy and relevance. I start by returning to the lived experience, to the details of that experience, searching for other interpretations than the one that has been leading around in circles.

I might ask the young woman who is attracted to abusive men this series of questions: "Give me an example of when you felt that your boyfriend was attractive". "Why was that sexy?" "Did that seem manly?" Do men do such things out of strength, or out of fear and weakness?" "What do you think was his motivation?" " What is your ideal of manliness?" "How does your boyfriend compare to that standard?" "How did you feel when he did that?" "Are there any other times when you have felt that?"

Each question would lead back to the lived experience so that other interpretations and other labels might arise. She would elicit from her own experience insights that could lead her to interpret what has troubled her in a fresh way. And the insight she gains from this is entirely her own creation.

Philosophers who practice this form of Socratic inquiry think of themselves as midwives, helping people give birth to their ideas. The technique always questions the interpretations - are these true? We return to the lived experience to answer this question. And if the answer is not a resounding "yes", it is time for a fresh look and new interpretations. This is a very liberating and dynamic process that often produces a quick resolution.