Zen & Psychotherapy: Clearing For Freedom & Joy

By Sue Roberts

How do we know when to act and when to just wait? We don't want to jump the gun and be just pretending to get what's going on. We'd prefer not to hang back until the moment is gone. Zen emphasizes being part of the Big Mind already, with lots of available information hanging around. Zen also is the fact that each moment is different from the rest, despite our hope for sameness.

Suzuki Roshi laughed when he was asked to explain Zen in a few words, and he volunteered an answer, "Not Always So!" How is one to bear not knowing so much?! Practice, practice, practice a form of neutrality. Let "not knowing" happen—it's not so bad. Grab the moment to lift out of one-sided thoughts and breathe without restraint. Get comfortable with not having to be immediately right—often you can't be. Invite joy in. Wait for a kinder, fuller truth. Be free to stop the world—your world—a little while. Dig your heels in and refuse to be carried off by others' agendas or your internal desperations.

Our teacher also told us to accept EVERYTHING. We were not a docile bunch regarding what we wanted changed. We argued that we would not submit, surrender, forgive, like, give an OK or take anything bad as inevitable. He replied that we needed to intimately know what limits and resources we had—what colors we had on our palette already—in order to do well at our changing. Illusions, traumas, mistakes, ideals—all are to be considered.

Someone described our teacher as being like a mother and a thief. While feeding our excitement about clarity and insights, he was slowly removing the rug from under our assumptions and certainties. He smiled when he heard I was in a helping profession, and then said, "You can't always know you're helping someone when you try to help." One day I was trying so hard to make a good impression and have his approval. He noticed what I wanted and kindly said, "You get a gold star!" A bit later I stopped in my tracks, "Was that what I really wanted from a Zen master?"

The Dalai Lama was confused and troubled when he first came to the USA. He observed many people being very hard on others and seeming to hate themselves in their daily expressions and moods. He saw so many lonely folks hungry for connection, unsatisfied in their unquestioned pursuit of success at an unnatural pace. Perhaps we could lean on his enlightened confusion in our efforts to be outside the rat race and be free. He takes great joy in life, jokes, reaches out and believes we all belong. We individual Americans have been somehow haunted with fears of being left out, ashamed, seen as losers. This lopsided world view needs to be stopped by each of us waking up smelling the coffee and roses.

Dogen, the thirteenth century founder of Soto Zen, made a big deal about being buoyant and joyful, and finding wholehearted freedom in every day endeavors. He also promoted paying deep attention to details, as a parent would take good care of a child. His "Instructions for the Zen Cook" reads like a metaphor for the artful "cooking" of one's life. He spoke of Magnanimous Mind—"one that is swayed neither by enticements or oppression—being like a mountain or ocean." Suzuki Roshi often held out the concept of "imperturbable composure." I loved how his Japanese accent bounced this desirable mouthful along—-imperfectly, like our own efforts and intentions.

One day at Tassajara Zen Mountain Center, we went to pick apples at an old neighboring orchard. Out came the boxes and students scrambled around fast "to get the job done." It was not a fun outing. Suzuki Roshi quietly climbed the bumper of the van, then on to the roof. From there he climbed into the branches of a tree, gathered an armload of apples, and impishly started to fling them at us. The Puritan mood broke. We laughed, had a great day and picnic, and took back lots of apples.

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