Finally! Break the Vicious Cycle of Obsessive Dieting & Binge Eating

By Leora Harling

Leora Harling, Certified Hypnotherapist, holds a Masters of Counseling Psychology and treats compulsive eating and other related eating disorders under the supervision of Susie Finch, MFC # 40419.

Has it ever happened to you? It's day 1 of your diet. Again. You have the best intentions; you're finally going to lose that weight and be thin and happy, and now your life will be perfect. Your first day you've stuck to your plan 100%. Maybe another day or two goes by and then, all of a sudden, you do something "wrong." You eat a cookie, a potato chip, it doesn't matter what it is, it's something that defies the rigid rules you've set up for yourself. And then, before you know it, there you are in the middle of a binge.

You're not necessarily enjoying it, but you're eating furiously, anything you can get your hands on. Foods that you don't even necessarily care about normally, but you can't stop. You're eating and eating and eating and you can't even taste the food.... There you are. Full. Disgusted. Ashamed. Angry at yourself. Depressed. So what do you do? Do you call yourself self-deprecating names? Do you turn to food to help you numb out the feelings of being disappointed in yourself or even worse, hating yourself? Do you punish yourself by restricting? Do you purge the calories by over exercising, taking laxatives or vomiting?

It doesn't have to be this way! You can be free from the cycle of obsessive dieting and compulsive eating. The following steps can help get you on the road to recovery.

Dieting sets up a precedent that's very difficult to stick to. Diets often recommend that we eat only a certain amount of calories per day; some suggest that we cut out whole food groups such as carbohydrates. If these rules are somehow broken, you may feel like a failure. Deleting the word diet does not mean that you are giving up your aspirations of healthfulness. This is about self-acceptance and recovery. You can accept yourself as you are in the moment AND do things to help yourself to become healthy.

Keeping a food and feelings journal is tremendously helpful. This enables you to understand when and why you binge. Perhaps you got some bad news on the phone, or you had some kind of mini-traumatic event at work, maybe you ran into a person who triggered some bad feelings that you have about yourself. It's difficult to know. Write down everything that you eat for 2-3 weeks. In the margins, write how you were feeling. If you binge, write down how you felt before and after the binge. You are becoming an investigative journalist uncovering truths about yourself.

Many people will compulsively eat or diet to soothe themselves, but how are you wounding yourself? Is it with unkind words? Food? Restrictive dieting? If you find yourself going for the food, first ask yourself, "Am I hungry?" If not, what else might be going on? "Am I angry? Am I tired? Am I lonely? Am I bored?" Set a timer and see if you can go ten minutes without the binge. During these ten minutes, write about your feelings. Make a phone call to a loving, supportive, safe person, or just sit alone and allow yourself feel the uncomfortable feeling. As you learn to sit with uncomfortable feelings, set the timer for longer. As the weeks go on, you may be able to postpone a binge for hours, then days, then weeks.

Children know when they are hungry and when they are full. However, the nurturing mother, in her attempts to nourish her child will usually distrust the child's internal cues and force the child to take "just one more bite," or to "clean your plate." Thus, many people grow up not trusting their own instincts about hunger and wind up eating whatever is on their plate regardless of whether they are hungry or not. In the beginning of your recovery, it might be important to eat by the clock to ensure that you are eating your three meals per day. However, it is important to figure out when you are hungry and when you aren't.

Be patient and loving with yourself. Progress is not linear. Many compulsive eaters are looking for a quick fix. For every accomplishment it is possible to experience a setback. But these setbacks can be great information and learning experiences to find a way to do things differently.

Some people say things such as "I love myself no matter what," or "I am loved, loving, capable and strong," each night several times as they're falling asleep. It can feel difficult or uncomfortable or untrue at first. Do it anyway. It's necessary to have ammunition against the voices that are giving you negative messages about yourself. Don't let them win.

Many people recover with the help of therapist or group therapy or both. The support is invaluable and far preferable to turning to food for support.