Things To Look For In A Singles Dating Service

By Norman Mickey

Norman Mickey, longtime OPEN EXCHANGE lister, is the founder and director of Video Introductions, one of the oldest and most reputable singles services in the country. We applaud Norman's consumer-oriented approach! For contact information please see our Singles category. Copyright © 1982-2003 Norman Mickey.

Dating Services have varying governmental rules and regulations depending on the state they are located. There is considerable variation in the quality and ethical practices of the various services available. In 1982 Video Introductions first published "Things to Look for in a Singles Dating Service" in an effort to bring about much needed changes in the dating service industry. The following guidelines should be considered when assessing which service may best represent your interests.

1. Does the dating service choose prospective dates for you, or are you allowed to make you own choices?

2. How do you know that the organization has the number and the kind of members that they say they have? Grossly exaggerated membership claims are common.

3. If the firm has profile albums or photo-profile sheets of members, are you allowed to look at all of their members - and given adequate time to do so - before deciding to join? Or are you expected to make a decision based primarily on a slick, prepared presentation, perhaps featuring some of their more desirable members?

4. If the firm features video dating, are you permitted to view some videos which you have personally selected from their entire membership roster, before deciding to join?

5. Are their members "active" members or are their membership figures knowingly based on former members they have lost contact with or inactive members who are not currently interested in dating? Do you receive names of prospective dates only to find disinterested persons or disconnected phone numbers when you call.

6. Do they divulge prices willingly? Are prices listed in promotional literature? Are they reluctant to quote prices over the phone? If so, beware!

7. Is the membership fee negotiated or tailored to fit the salesperson's estimate of your sales gullibility?

8. Are there any extra or hidden charges in addition to your basic membership or service fee?

9. Do they use deceptive, unfair or high-pressure sales tactics? Are all of your questions answered fairly and fully? Are they open and friendly? Are you treated respectfully?

10. Are their prices out of line with comparable services?

11. Are you made to feel that you must make a decision on the spot following a shrewd and carefully orchestrated presentation designed to pressure you and prevent comparison shopping?

12. Do they provide appropriate and courteous service after they have your money?

13. Do they attempt to sell you their service only through the mail or in a visit to your home where you have less information available to determine what type of organization they are, what services they truly offer or what their members are really like - until after you have committed yourself?

14. Do they feed on your ego - and your pocketbook - by boasting that they accept only attractive, successful people? If they really do exclude certain types of persons from their organization, is their justification fair and reasonable?

15. Have you checked their business record with the Better Business Bureau, the State Dept. of Consumer Affairs or some other source? Ask other participants, too.

16. Are your rights and responsibilities spelled out and protected by a fair written agreement and supporting agency literature?

17. Are you guaranteed dates? If so, the firm you're dealing with is either lying to you or they're in the escort service business. A legitimate dating service must depend upon the mutual consent of two persons for a date to occur.

18. Does the service knowingly allow married persons or persons otherwise unsuitable for relationship possibilities to become members? Do they allow persons to misrepresent themselves? Does the service provide only sketchy information about prospective dates? Do you seem to be repeatedly mismatched? Don't be shy about inquiring or complaining if you've been burned. And don't just verbalize your dissatisfaction! It's necessary to register your complaint in writing on a consumer agency form, so that it will become part of the firm's record, and other singles may be forewarned about the problems you experienced.