Help For Hoarding, Bingeing,
Addictions & Other Compulsions

By Ruth L. Schwartz

Ruth L. Schwartz, PhD, is a therapist in private practice offering HeartMind Integration.

People who suffer from a variety of compulsions--from hoarding to rage to computer games to sexual addiction--now realize they're far from alone. But where do you find real help?

People often call me and ask if I have experience with hoarding, or phobias, or smoking, or pornography addiction, or ADHD, or anxiety, or many other specific conditions. The short answer is: Yes, I do. The longer answer is: But it doesn't really matter, because no matter what specific symptoms you're experiencing, our work will be essentially the same.

For instance, George was addicted not just to pornography, but to watching videos in which the porn actresses said humiliating things to the viewer. Sandy had started smoking at age 12, and had been unable to quit despite all the health problems it had caused her, 35 years later. Leah had an entire closet filled with shoes, most of them brand new, their boxes never even opened. Although they looked different on the surface, all three of these people had experienced childhood pain which they had learned to mask and/or medicate through these behaviors. Therefore, our work involved connecting them to a wise, compassionate presence within themselves, then "traveling" internally to the place where the pain began, and doing whatever was necessary to heal it.

This "shamanic" approach is magnificently simple (though it is neither simplistic, nor easy.) It starts with one crucial assumption: that all of us are intrinsically whole, inextricably connected to the life force, what poet Dylan Thomas called "the force that through the green fuse drives the flower." Although painful experiences have separated us from that wholeness, it is entirely possible--in fact, it is our birthright--to find our way back.

Shamans believe that often when there is deep pain or trauma, parts of our soul actually leave us, in order to help us bear what feels unbearable. Unfortunately, these soul parts then become stuck outside of time, isolated and re-experiencing the same wound over and over. On the outside, we've moved on; the kid who was friendless and picked-on at twelve may have developed a great support system by age 35. So why does she still feel so empty inside? Because it's painful to live without parts of her soul – and because parts of her soul are still back there, still living out the painful experiences of so many years before.

People engage in an extremely wide variety of behaviors in their attempt to deal with this kind of pain. Bob self-medicated by gambling; Jasmine used alcohol and drugs; Edie used food, including a complex pattern of self-deprivation and "rewards," which kept her so busy she was far away from her own feelings most of the time. I've had clients who cut or burned themselves – behaviors that actually divert people from emotional pain by occupying the neural pathways with physical pain instead. Even panic and anxiety attacks can be used as a way to distract oneself from pain.

In a way, all of these responses should be celebrated for their creativity. Faced with pain that at one point felt unbearable, each of our psyches found ways for us to feel better, at least for the moment. The problem, of course, is that not only are these "solutions" extremely temporary, but most of them end up causing a great deal of pain of their own. Most people with addictions and compulsions feel ashamed, and the shame is painful. They hide their behaviors from others, which isolates them, and the isolation is painful. This creates a vicious cycle, where the method they use to help them deal with pain causes more pain, which requires them to engage in the behavior even more, which causes more pain... and so on.

Yet pain can be healed at its root. Split-off parts of the soul can be found, rescued, and restored to the whole, a process shamans call "soul retrieval." Piece by piece, people can regain their lost resilience, optimism, joy, vitality, confidence, and power.

When the underlying sources of pain are addressed, the old compulsions lose their power over us. The hoarder no longer needs her rooms filled floor-to-ceiling with possessions, because she has regained what she was really missing: herself.

FEEDBACK: CLICK HERE to email comments and feedback. Please note the title of the article or the author's name. Include your own name or type "name withheld" by request. Thoughtful responses will be published in our next edition.